Tuesday, March 29, 2011

For Today...March 29th

     It feels so good to have a minute for myself, to sit down and round up my thoughts! I think I may have only blogged once this entire month, not counting today, and that is not OK for me. I really need to carve out more time for myself.
     I have been trying to do just that as far as my art! It feels amazing to be creatively active again on canvas, and I have big plans coming up, if I can work out the logistics. It's such an exciting time for me right now when I stop to think about it. I'm painting again, my hubby graduates in six months with his degree in Biomedical Electronics, which means we are that much closer to finding another place to move as he applies for placement in his new career...no wonder I feel so wobbly. I don't know about you, but the change of seasons, coupled with daily life occurrences,  always makes me feel like I'm in a tailspin. Meh...that could just be my weird mind at work too, though. Who knows!
     I thought this would be a great time to start my Daybook up again. you know, sometimes a list to fill out gets the creative juices flowing. It's sort of like meditating. It gives your mind something to focus on! So, with no further ado, here's my March daybook:

Outside my window...it is bright and sunny, finally! A bit misleading since it is only 26°F out today! I can't wait for warm weather...

I am wearing... torn up jeans and a tee. Getting ready to paint!

I am thinking... short term. I need to live more in the moment and not worry about tomorrow. While those close to me know, I never stop worrying, trying to just think moment to moment is getting easier all the time. 

I am thankful for... my loving, supportive husband. I can't say it enough! I'm also super proud of him for his hard work in school. My A student is really going places!

From the kitchen... coffee! French Vanilla, you are my warm and comforting friend.

I am creating... again! It feels wonderful. I have a process,which really is a moody one, but as long as I keep plodding forward in the process, I always work it out! I love mixed media, so I'm trying to get more into that realm as much as I can.

I am reading... Duma Key by Stephen King. Thought I'd give this one my free time since it's about a painter! I just finished Bright Lights, Big Ass by Jen Lancaster. You simply must pick up one or all of her books. She is so hilarious! Oh, and follow her blog. Do it now!

From the learning rooms... my hubby is on the cusp of his next school term! After this next term, he starts his extern-ship, and we are super duper excited about the wonderful company he will be working with! 

I am hoping...I can make my plans a reality soon. I don't want to jinx it, so no hints right now.

I am hearing... The Bold & The Beautiful. Yeah, guilty pleasure. I grew up watching that and The Young and the Restless with my mom. I like to watch them...feels like girlie time with my mom. Is that weird?

I am going...have a great day today. I will, I will, I will!

Around the house...laundry,dishes,general tidying...repeat. 

I am remembering...taking time for me is not a luxury. We all got that idea somewhere along the way, and it isn't true. Taking time for yourself is so important for your mental health. Believe me, I know!

Quote to commit to memory... "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind." ~Gandi

A few plans for the week... finish up this piece on the easel and start at least one more, then just general duties about the house (made easier because we got the dryer replaced! Yay clean laundry!)

One of my favorite things...glue and paper on canvas!

Photo for Thought...I have been so excited about painting again. I've been a busy bee, so I thought I'd share. I don't really have a theme, I just paint things I love or that I feel drawn to at the moment. Anyhow, these are what I have been up to since February!
I did a portrait of a good friend's cat, Bandit, then went out on a limb with an abstract. I then painted one of my favorite places in the world, The Angel Oak in Charleston, SC.
     Thanks for stopping by today! If you want to participate in The Simple Woman's Daybook, head on over to the site and get to writing. If you don't blog, but love reading, you can read other women's daybook entries there, too. Enjoy and have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Finding my Muse

     I've been so bogged down in work and running around lately. Lately meaning, as far back as I can think right now. All the while, I've been trying in earnest to be more present and mindful in each day and moment. I always seem to fall right back into worries and stress, no matter how hard I try not to. I know life comes with stress, and that a lot of it simply can't be avoided...but sometimes I feel like I am wearing concrete boots in the middle of a sea of quick sand. Have you ever felt like that?
     Thankfully, my husband is the best possible supporter I could have been blessed with. Rob never stops picking me up, dusting me off, and placing me back on which ever shelf from which I fell. He is my everything. And, he is the one that encouraged me to start painting again. I never stopped on purpose you see. It's one of those things that happen when you grow up. I just sort of never got around to it anymore. Sure, scrapbooking or baking occupy me and make me smile. Photography is fun, and I have a penchant for covering anything I can get my hands on with paper, but there's something about painting. Creating something from a blank slate.
     Maybe it's the fear I have of not liking anything I do, but I think its a combination of all of my emotional issues. I tend to implode and become still when I am stressed or scared...which is most of the time. So painting something seemed like a lost cause. Why, you know? Why start something I might hate, waste all that time or money on materials? That's just how my brain works. 
    Well, Rob doesn't see life that way. He keeps nudging and encouraging me, and so a few weeks ago he made me do something for me. That's the problem. I have an extraordinarily hard time doing something simply for me...past taking a walk or making a cup of coffee, that is. So when I had a single small pay check from my job at the restaurant, he drove me to the art store and told me to buy myself some paint. The universe had the same idea since the forty-eight tube set of acrylics was on sale for 50% off. After a mini-breakdown in the paint aisle over saving the $24 for something we needed more, Rob marched up front and paid for the paint before  I could change my mind.
    Thank God for my husband. Paint might not cure anxiety or depression, but there is definitely something to this art therapy stuff. Sure, I still have the ups and downs that come with working on the painting...pressing forward to find the piece in that blank space, but I feel so much better after I spend time doing nothing but moving colors around on that canvas. Life goes away for a while and I get to be happy in my own little world. I like that. 
     So, my point is that I have been diving into my painting again! Living here in northwest Pennsylvania and so far from my beloved ocean, I naturally gravitated toward the nautical. I like to think I have an inner mermaid, so I decided to try my hand at letting her come out. I'm pretty happy with the outcome...
     I hope you have something in your life that brings you joy, like painting. It can be anything...gardening, reading, travel. What ever it is, do it. Taking time for yourself is not a luxury, it is a requirement. One I'm learning about daily. Go find your inner mermaid...I sure am.